January 2012: How to kickstart the new year (and spoil your fans) Monkeys style

  • Begin by fucking up the New Year’s Eve countdown at Falls Festival then,
  • Take Australia by storm—play stellar shows with Little Illusion Machine and Evil Twin on the setlist, be completely ridiculous on stage, take shirts off with Miles Kane, et cetera. 
  • Operation mindfuck: release the video for Black Treacle. Get a ‘what-the-fuck-did-I-just-watch’ reaction among the majority of the community. Then, make them realize days later that it’s actually based on a bible story. Have AMUS’ HBIC carefully examine it. Blow everyone’s brains out. 
  • Decide to play Coachella in April; excite/stress those in the US, frustrate the rest of the world.
  • Be strange. Cover a Patsy Cline song on Triple J’s Like A Version + make everyone remember the glory that is the UK tour and have the entire Birmingham gig streamed on Q Radio.
  • Return to your roots and collaborate with Richard Hawley on You and I, a b-side bound to confuse Lady Gaga fans. Rev engines, smoke cigarettes and have wicked guitar solos, you know, stuff of rock ‘n’ roll.
  • Release a video for said b-side. Give Nick and Jamie some screen time, make it look like a grown-up version of Teddy Picker, drive around in fancy cars and motorbikes, have Richard Hawley in it. Sheffield is wonderful. 
  • That’s not enough, of course. So perform at Radio 1’s Live Lounge. Hide Alex in some closet and pretend he’s lost (fans will enjoy that story), do a Katy B cover then return to Jonathan Ross and let Alex have some sofa fun time with Kermit and Miss Piggy… cause the girls will love that. 
  • Receive 7 nominations at the NME Awards, including best album art proving either minimalist is the new maximalist or NME smokes the good stuff and;
  • Jet off to Spain and show everyone a good time both in Madrid and Barcelona before commencing the week-long French tour in Paris. Never give anyone, especially that girl who runs FYAM, a break.
Posted 3 weeks ago
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